


What I can't say

by szczepter



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sappy, kagami is emotional, okay less hurt more comfort, suggested sexual situation, very sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 13:50:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6197467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/szczepter/pseuds/szczepter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kagami shows an unexpected moment of vulnerability.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What I can't say

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aphelion_orion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphelion_orion/gifts).



> i was doing a nsfw meme on my blog the other day and my own headcanon made me emotional and after talking with a friend [ here ](http://loose-leaf-teacanons.tumblr.com/post/140635111613/oooh-i-wanna-play-for-kagakuro-i-m-and-w-if) i kind of got inspired lol. 
> 
> I also kind of went really sappy here, but that was the point.

Personally, he wouldn't peg himself for an emotional type.  
  
Well, okay he was hot headed and he got angry easily, his patience could run short and he would get really excited to the point of being louder than intended. This always posed a problem now that he was in a country where loudness was seen as rudeness and not as confidence.  
  
So yeah, okay he was emotional, but the emotions that were often welling up inside him; impatience, excitement, anger, annoyance etc., were way, _way_ different than anything like...well anything like what he felt now.  
  
And what he felt now was practically impossible to put in words.  
  
For him at least, Kuroko wouldn’t probably have problems naming the emotion that suddenly _overwhelmed_ him and made him choke on a broken sob while...well while coming to put it bluntly.  
  
It caught him off guard, that he almost fell of the bed in that moment. Kuroko sat up, eyes wide and filled with concern. His flushed skin was rapidly losing color and cooling down.  
  
"Kagami-kun?"  
  
Kagami gritted his teeth and tried to blink back the tears, but his body betrayed him and more of them spilled on his face. He almost let out another sob, but he swallowed it as best as he could, so that what came out was a small whimper.  
  
It was humiliating.  
  
"Kagami-kun?" Kuroko moved closer to Kagami, but he couldn't bear to look at the smaller boy.  
  
"Wait." He managed to choke out as he turned away from him. "Don't look...don't look at me." His voice cracked embarrassingly. Kuroko's hand, that he reached out towards Kagami, fell into his lap, as the smaller boy settled next to his boyfriend.  
  
"Are you hurt?" He asked gently. "Kagami-kun?"  
  
Taiga shook his head and swallowed thickly.  
  
He didn't...he didn't even know how to describe what happened. One moment he was well...touching Kuroko and feeling euphoric and the next they were...well finishing and then Kagami felt like crying when it was over.  
  
And no, he didn't cry because it hurt, or was bad or whatever.  
  
That was kind of...the opposite actually.  
  
Kagami took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He could feel Kuroko settle against his side. Kagami wanted to explain, to reassure him that it wasn't anything he did, but it was still welling up inside him, to the point that it was chocking him and preventing him from speaking.  
  
Two thin arms wrapped around his middle and he felt Kuroko press his cheek against his shoulder blade.  
  
"Taiga-kun, you are scaring me." He said softly. "Please talk to me."  
  
Kagami wanted too, but by god he didn't know _how_.  
  
He put a hand on one of Kuroko's smaller one, still wrapped around his middle and squeezed it in reassurance. Kuroko immediately laced their fingers together.  
  
Slowly, Kagami was calming down. He wasn't crying anymore, but his body was still wrecked from time to time by violent shivers. Kuroko, being pressed so closely to his side, sensed them and squeezed him tighter as well as nuzzled small kisses into his shoulder, but otherwise kept quiet.  
  
Kagami tried to sort his feelings out.  
  
It was...well, their first time, and as much as awkward but good it felt, it was also...unsettling for Kagami, how _well_ they fit together, how _much_ they were in synch, and how really _good_ it felt to be so close like that with someone. No. How good it felt to be close with _Kuroko_.  
  
Honestly, he didn't think he was _ever_ that close with someone as he was with Kuroko.  
  
Not only in that particularly moment, but in general, in everyday life, on the court and now here in bed too. It just felt too surreal and quite scary if he had to be honest.  
  
Maybe it was overly dramatic to think something like this at the age of barely 18, but he was suddenly afraid.  
  
Afraid that wouldn’t want anything else with _anyone_ else ever again.  
  
It felt...heavy. And scary, but also elating in a way. He didn't even know how to convey that in words, for Kuroko to understand and he _knew_ he needed to say that, because well, for one Kuroko was worried, still pressed to his side and offering silent comfort as much as he could. And secondly, Kagami just _felt_ , in his gut that it was somehow important.  
  
Kuroko stayed silent and supportive, patiently waiting for Kagami to regain his composure.  
  
Kagami sighed and scrubbed at his face and then sniffed and exhaled.  
  
"Damn it. You probably think I'm gross and lame." His voice was rough and thick with emotion.  
  
Kuroko tightened his hold around Kagami and shook his head behind him.  
  
"I don't. I'm simply worried. You reacted...not the way I expected. It caught me off guard."  
  
Pause.  
  
"Did...did you not like it? Did I disappointed y-"  
  
"Fuck no!" He didn't mean to shout, but it just came out louder (and more desperate) than he intended, as he twisted in Kuroko's hold to look at his face.  
  
"No." He said a bit quieter. "It's..." He paused, frustrated that he couldn't find appropriate words. He decided to try differently.  
  
"Meeting you....and being with you....is like the best thing that happened to me. Ever." He felt his face explode in several different shades of red. He probably looked ridiculous, but he still continued.  
  
"And..." He took a big breath "you're my first..."  
  
"You're my first too Kagami-kun." Kuroko said in a small voice when Kagami took too long to find the next words.  
  
"I know...but I didn't...know? Not until...we..." He trailed off and felt his face go even redder. "I didn't...understand everything how you made me feel..."  
  
"Fuck." He cursed and sighed. "This is really difficult. I can't explain properly. What I want to say is that-"  
  
"Kagami-kun." Kuroko interrupted him and shifted so they were facing each other. He gently cupped his face and gave him a small smile.  
  
"I know."  
  
"You do?"  
  
Kuroko chuckled.  
  
Somehow hearing him laugh, put Kagami at ease. The sense of humiliation and shame melted into regular embarrassment.  
  
"I know that what you want to say is important. However, you don't have to strain yourself so much." He ran a thumb over his cheek. It was wet and hot.  
  
"I know you express yourself better with actions and gestures." He let his thumb slid lower and brush gently over his lower lip.  
  
"As long as you say it with your lips or your hands, or even with your heart." He put his palm over Kagami's chest. His heart was beating wildly.  
  
"Then I'll understand."  
  
Kagami made a strangled sound at the back of his throat and surged forward, burying his face in Kuroko's shoulder and wrapping his arms around him.  
  
Kuroko returned the embrace as tightly as he could and run a hand though Kagami's hair and shoulders.  
  
Kagami's body shook in another wave of small tremors. Kuroko could feel wetness on his skin, where Kagami hid his face.  
  
Kuroko felt something well inside him too at the raw and sincere display of vulnerability. It made him feel strangely and fiercely protective.  
  
After long moments, when Kagami calmed down somehow, but was still curled around Kuroko, the smaller boy felt the sudden urge to say something. He didn't know if it was a good or appropriate moment, but it felt right.  
  
"Taiga-kun. I love you." He whispered into Kagami's hair, like he was afraid that if he said it louder they both would break.  
  
Kagami didn't say anything, but just tightened his hold on Kuroko. The smaller boy had a brief thought that Kagami seemed like he wanted them to mold together so they could never had to be separate again.  
  
Suddenly, it was him that felt chocked inside. He did manage to turn his head away and wipe one stray tear from his cheek.  
  
"I love you so much."

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this under like 2h at work and I really liked it, but I still feel kind of hesitant eeh


End file.
